Curly posted the other day concerning the modern, traditional family. I thought I might continue the discussion here, as my comment was about to grow into a novel.
My mom stayed home to raise me and my sister, at least in the sense that she didn't work. She did have a few commitments during the week: garden club, the gift shop at church, an exercise class. Now I started school at the ripe old age of 18 months (for two days a week), but starting the year or so before that up until the point when I was in school 5 days a week (4 yrs. old???) she would take me to one of two places while she went to whatever it was she had that day. Some days I would learn to paint with my Great Grandmother, or cook, we liked to make custard (yum!!). Other days I'd go play with my Grandmother, which occasionally included a trip to check on my Great Grandmother. All that to say, I had friends who had babysitters for most of their childhood, because their parents worked, but I spent quite a bit of mine with my mom, and I lost a lot of games of checkers until my sister got old enough to play with me.
Well, now I'm out of college and starting out in the working world. I work part time evenings and weekends, with the occasional noon news thrown in (that's where I am right now). What with the wedding in June, and the starting to be a grown up adult thing, I've begun to think about how I'd like to raise a family. I'm starting to think that I'm a fan of the "traditional model" if it could work for us. Perhaps modified a bit.
Like Curly said, when more and more household tasks are paid for, rather than done within the household, it requires more income to pay for those tasks.
Scott was right, it's a vicious cycle kind of a thing. And it certainly plays into the apparent need of our society as a whole to buy everything rather than take responsibility for doing it ourselves.
Now, I'm not about to condemn that way of life, though I personally cannot find it within myself to live that way. My life goals are my life goals, and if your life goals are different, then perhaps that is as it should be, and we just might fit into two different spaces in the puzzle that need to be filled.
Personally, I want to stay home with my kids, for at least a large part of each day. And for that, my current work schedule would be a great fit. I could spend the earlier part of the day with the kids and taking care of household things, like paying bills, grocery shopping, tending to the garden, cleaning house and what have you, and then go to work in the early afternoon, only needing someone else to take care of them for a couple hours until Seth get's home from work. However, as we have spent the vast majority of our relationship long distance, and even if we hadn't, it sure would be nice to see my husband from time to time. Two hours around dinner time most nights just isn't going to cut it for too long.
So, perhaps I should stop working once we decide to start a family and in the mean time, work to change my work schedule significantly. The problem I see with that is that I greatly enjoy what I do, so I'm hesitant to stop. I really like working in television, though I'm not sure working in production is exactly where I want to be. But I'm really not sure I want normal regular hours, and I certainly don't want a desk and a need to wear "business attire."
The other complication is that despite the fact that the boy isn't really making a ton of money as a mechanic, he's making twice as much as I am - so right now we kinda have 75% of the income that we'd like to be earning jointly, in order to be able to build our savings and prepare for the possibility of someday owning a home.
Ok, so this started out as a comment and now it's grown beyond what I had intended, also I need to actually do my job, so I'm going to come back to this in a second. I'm only saying this to explain any break in the logic (or lack thereof) between the post thus far and what will come when I get back.
Well, I'm back at work again, with more time to kill . . . but I don't really have too much to add. I guess perhaps this is almost an example of the variables at play here. And I still haven't touched on much of the meat of Curly's original post.
Hmmm . . .
We had a three sermon series at church a few weeks ago, regarding Love and Marriage. One of the things the pastor talked about was the concept of the man being the head of the household. After a fairly large number of gasps in the congregation, he continued to explain where he was going. He cited several points in Scripture that pointed out that the man was the head of the household, and therefore responsible to make an account for not only himself, but his family before God. He also said that when it comes to roles in the home or the functioning of the family, that should depend on each member's gifts and talents.
I was really tired that day, I'd had a really late night at the station. But I really had to think about that sermon. I don't know that bad husbands/fathers necessarily go to "that special hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk in the theatre**," but I think I agree in general with the concept. As far as I see it, the man is responsible for looking after his family in an over-arching sense. He will have to stand before God and make an account for not only himself, but the rest of his family. But when it comes down to the nitty gritty, day to day details of the way life works in the household, he might very well be the best suited to stay home with the kids, for example. How the details play out should be totally personal.
Not that I think society as a whole can handle this concept yet, it's too nebulus, and it doesn't necessarly suit the tides that drive societies moods these days. But I think this is how we're going to operate. Now the trick is going to be to figure out the details.
Something tells me I'll be doing the taxes and balancing the bank books, as math is something I can do pretty well. But I would really like to raise my children myself, in the sense that I would be home at least enough to be a large part of their day to day lives. And I know that Seth really values being able to provide for the family, so something tells me that he won't be staying home, unless he turns into a freelance photographer.
I guess we'll just have to see.
